Monday, December 31, 2012

I Forgot My Old Acquaintances






 
The final day of 2012 is upon us.

And it’s a Monday to boot.

Doesn’t sound right, does it…the final day of the year being a Monday.

Well, at least it doesn’t sound right to me…mostly because I’m me and that’s just how I think…especially on  Monday…which is also the last day of the year.

It seems to me that the last day of the year should be on a Friday…all the time.

But it’s not, and I’m not sure how to fix it, so I’ll leave it to the folks with the slide rules…if they exist anymore.

I mean the slide rules…not the people. The people still exist, just without the slide rules.

But they still wear those pocket protectors for some reason.

Not sure why.

I mean is a pocket all that important that it needs protection?

From what?

I guess pocket hooligans.

And yes—I know what you’re wondering—even people with pocket protectors exist…on some level.

They just don’t get invited to a lot of parties.

But that’s okay…at least they have a reason.

We don’t have a reason, and we don’t get invited to any parties, either. Unless of course we throw the party…and then we can stay…for a little while.

Well, that’s not entirely true. We do get invited to a New Year’s Eve party every year…even those that fall on a Monday.

But we’ve had to decline the last 3 or 4 years for a variety of reasons. 

Some of which involve avoiding the other New Year’s Eve partiers on the road.

Plus the fact that it requires staying up past midnight, which is getting harder and harder to do.

Especially if you’re fast asleep by 10…even at the party.

The good thing is no one seems to notice if you’re asleep at 10 or not, because they nodded off themselves about 9:30.

 
 
If you’re the first person to wake up, at least before sunrise, you’re required to pop open the champagne.

That usually wakes up the other folks, as well.

At least the ones who are still breathing.

Then if we’re lucky we can catch up with the Hawaiian New Year’s celebration.

Can’t get enough of that Don Ho.

What?

Oh….

Then I guess we’ll have to record Dick Clark.

What?

Oh….

I suppose Guy Lombardo is out of the question…?

See what I mean…I forgot all my old acquaintances….

Maybe it’s time to start going to the party again.
 

Archive of Holiday Retorts Past
(Click Link to Read)

Old & Tired — Fresh & New

 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Retort to the Retort -

“Is there anybody alive out there…”